Leyland kept Sheffield #3 based on what he was supposed to do there, what he did there last year when healthy, what everyone hoped he was going to do there. Leyland gave him more rope than anyone else would get, to the detriment of the team. It was a gamble that didn’t work, but don’t be surprised to see it played out again when Sheffield comes off the DL.

A properly functioning Sheffield would make Cabrera ideal for #5, with some of the best protection around in the form of Guillen at #6. Without Sheffield – on the DL or off the team for good – I still think Cabrera is a good fit at #5. Protecting Ordonez, and even more importantly, getting another lefty in Guillen higher in the order (#3).

I would really hope for Thames behind Cabrera. Other teams may find out to their cost that you don’t pitch around Cabrera to get to Thames. I don’t know his career numbers in this regard, but for a full 2 months Marcus has been on fire with men on, and the trend is our friend.

Yes, I’m a shameless Marcus Thames booster. Please don’t bring me down with any contradictory career splits, now.

The whole muddled mess now looks like a scheme to do everything but start Thames in LF full-time. Why was that so scary?

Country Strong is a powerful, scary thing.

Now why can’t I come up with stuff like that? I’m too cerebral, too Monty Python. I over-manage, like Tony LaRussa. You have the instinctual, gut-level stuff, Chris. You are the Jim Leyland of comedians.

I mean that as a compliment.

If the Cabrera deal had gone down first, the Tigers would have still had needs at SS and LF, true, but I think it would have changed their approach to filing them. I don’t think they would have offered as much for Renteria, and assuming they failed there, I think they might have filled the hole with Santiago (assuming that was OK with Guillen – no sarcasm intended). In the back of my mind, I seem to recall statements from – Leyland? – that totally contradict that last, though. So they might have traded for
a defensive specialist, then.

They could have and should have done better than Jacques Jones as a platoon partner for Thames in LF. I want to say that Santiago/Defensive New Guy as the SS solution would have influenced the Tigers in getting a more substantial bat in LF, with more left to trade for it – Juurjens and Hernandez, perhaps, or even Jurjjens straight up? – but I can’t say what was was available at the time.

Something I realized in hindsight was the question of why Sheffield wasn’t in the LF picture to begin with, with his desire to play in the field already known and with the Tigers already not just hoping for but relying upon his return to health. But in acquiring Jones, they essentially nixed that, just to replace Sean Casey’s bat in the lineup, really. And later they give (struggling) Sheffield the shot in LF and release Jones. Then they try Joyce, and finally Thames gets what he should have gotten in the first place. The whole muddled mess now looks like a scheme to do everything but start Thames in LF full-time. Why was that so scary? They could (now) at least afford Thames the same patience they afforded Sheffield, no?

I think the acquisition of Jones was probably the worst off-season move, and I don’t base that on his failure. It just didn’t make a lot of sense, not that I saw this at the time. My thought was – Jones? Lefty. OK. Not real popular with Cubs fans, but hey, maybe he’ll blossom here.

I said a few games ago it was almost time to buy low on this team. Maybe I’m just giddy from the fun I’ve around here lately, or perhaps it’s the lack of sleep from the late starts (we’re only an hour behind you Michigan folks), but I think we’ve bottomed. I don’t know what the numbers will be, but I’m calling for a hot June where we go 20-7 or some such thing. That’s right, you read that correctly. I am calling for the Tigers to be above .500 by the end of June.

and to prove my confidence, I am putting actual money on the Tigers to win the division when I’m Vegas next Wednesday. In my world, I eat my own cooking…

Anyhoo – do the Tigs whip Carlos Silva like a government mule again tonite? They better get a bunch of runs early so I can get some sleep. These West Coast start times are a killer.

Thanks for the support. I’ll ignore the less complimentary statements, because I know you’re just jealous that you don’t have an autographed Jose Mesa card. Or a blue glove. Or a chubby silhouette. (Help is on its way, Chris in D, though you can no longer read this to know it.) But I still don’t know why you had to tell everyone I live in Illinois. That was uncalled for.

As you know by now, I was only playing on a running joke about Cabrera, started by the one poster here who really does think Cabrera is a bust. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to assume that he is joking as well, even if he’s not.

I’m a one-trick pony with my humor here. Silly, stupid stuff, delivered with a very straight face. This has the benefit of providing cover when I really do say something stupid. I can always claim I was joking.

The acronym LOL is used a bit loosely and a bit too much, I think. But I did literally laugh out loud when I read your post. (And I don’t mean the one on the trades.) That was way funnier than mine.

I try to be funny, sometimes too hard. Some people just are funny. I see a lot of that here, and it’s a big payoff for me when something I write that made me giggle starts a wave and comes back as something to really make me laugh.

And thanks for the compliment, “Ryan in Brooklyn.” We really are brilliant and funny, aren’t we? I know you agree, but go ahead and say so anyway. Just to teach that Mark guy a lesson.

Following last night’s game, SNY’s Kevin Burkhardt asked Willie Randolph, “It seems like all the things that were illing this club…it’s like they’ve all come together, is it just timing,” to which Randolph smiled, laughed and asked, “Illing? Is that like the hip-hop term, illin’. You’re illin’, man.”

Burkhardt, clearly embarrassed, and speaking up over his fellow reporters, who were all laughing as well, said with a smile, “I’m trying to be a rapper at the same time, what can I tell you.”
Randolph, ready to answer the question, continued by saying, “Uhh, well, yeah, we been illin’ for a while,” which was followed by even more laughter from reporters.